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You Better Watch Out
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- Length: 27 mins
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Publisher's summary
There is something seriously wrong with Santa this year, and he's coming for you.
Santa Claus ruined his life. He saw him as a child, flying across the sky in his reindeer-pulled sleigh, and this vision grew into a long-time obsession. He eventually learned the truth about Santa. The dark, horrifying truth.
Seth Chambers spent much of his formative years happily engrossed in the works of Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clarke, Theodore Sturgeon, Alfred Bester, and numerous other science fiction masters.
Seth is the author of What Rough Beasts, Little Bird, and Beautiful Machines. His novella "In Her Eyes" was a nominee for the Sturgeon award and an honoree of the James Tiptree award. Seth lives in the Chicago area and can be contacted directly at SethChambersAuthor@gmail.com
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 257
At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,587
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,998
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,968
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Paper Angels
- A Novel
- By: Jimmy Wayne, Travis Thrasher
- Narrated by: Stephen Bowlby
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
When his mom decided it was time for them to leave for good, Thomas knew they better get far away or he'd come and find them. It was Christmas Day, with Mom sweating in a tiny room over a tiny stove, and Dad watching college basketball and drinking with a vengeance. "Thomas, I want you to get your sister and go out to the car, okay?" Mom had promised them that they would be getting a special Christmas present today. Just the two kids. They couldn’t mention it to Dad. This is her present, Thomas thought....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Giving and FORGIVING . . . Great Christmas Story
- By Debbie on 11-25-14
By: Jimmy Wayne, and others
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Young Hearts Crying
- By: Richard Yates
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 12 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 60
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4 out of 5 stars 50
Yates movingly portrays a man and a woman from their courtship in the 1950s to their divorce in the '70s, chronicling their heartbreaking attempts to reach their highest ambitions. Michael Davenport dreams of being a poet after returning home from World War II, and at first he and his new wife, Lucy, enjoy their life together. But as the decades pass and the success of others creates a fear of failure in both Michael and Lucy, their once bright future gives way to a life of adultery and isolation.
By: Richard Yates
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Learning to Die in Miami
- Confessions of a Refugee Boy
- By: Carlos Eire
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
Carlos Eire's story of a boyhood uprooted by the Cuban Revolution quickly lures us in, as eleven-year-old Carlos and his older brother Tony touch down in the sun-dappled Miami of 1962 - a place of daunting abundance where his old Cuban self must die to make way for a new, American self waiting to be born. In this enchanting new work, narrated in Eire's inimitable and lyrical voice, young Carlos adjusts to life in his new country.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent memoir of a forgotten time in history
- By BRB on 03-23-15
By: Carlos Eire
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The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 316
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 117
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 85
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Story4 out of 5 stars 84
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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Murphy's Boy
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Loretta Rawlins
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 73
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 63
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 64
His name was Kevin but his keepers called him Zoo Boy. He didn't talk. He hid under tables and surrounded himself with a cage of chairs. He hadn't been out of the building in the four years since he'd come in. He was afraid of water and wouldn't take a shower. He was afraid to be naked, to change his clothes. He was nearly 16. Desperate to see change in the boy, the staff of Kevin's adolescent treatment center hired Hayden. As Hayden read to him and encouraged him to read, crawling down into his cage of chairs with him, Kevin talked.
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5 out of 5 stars
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want to meet Kevin
- By Cherish on 10-14-15
By: Torey Hayden
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 337
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 288
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 287
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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1 out of 5 stars
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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The Ishbane Conspiracy
- By: Randy Alcorn
- Narrated by: Randy Alcorn
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 100
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 100
Jillian is picture perfect on the outside but terrified of getting hurt on the inside. Brittany is a tough girl who trusts almost no one. Ian is a successful athlete who dabbles in the occult. And Rob is a former gang banger who struggles with guilt, pain, and a newfound faith in God. These four college students will face the ultimate battle between good and evil in a single year.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Story great; Narrator not
- By An Amazon Customer on 01-27-20
By: Randy Alcorn
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The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks)
- By: Jennifer Lynch
- Narrated by: Sheryl Lee
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 953
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 880
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 873
Lifeless and wrapped in plastic. This is how Sheryl Lee was first introduced as "Laura Palmer" in the cult television classic, Twin Peaks. Now, Sheryl returns to voice Laura's darkest secrets in the audiobook event that fans of the show have long awaited.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wrapped in plastic
- By Phillip Frangules on 05-08-17
By: Jennifer Lynch
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven
- Or, How I Made Peace with the Paranormal and Stigmatized Zealots and Cynics in the Process
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 785
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 717
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 716
In this book, Corey Taylor undertakes something never before attempted in the history of rock superstardom: he takes you with him as he journeys undercover through various ghostbusting groups who do their best to gather information and evidence about the existence of spirits. Taylor also gives you a behind-the-scenes tour of his crazy life and the many beyond-the-grave events he's encountered. (You'll be shocked how often Slipknot has been invaded by the supernatural).
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1 out of 5 stars
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Too Much Padding
- By W. Maughan on 01-26-16
By: Corey Taylor
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 76
One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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The Hour I First Believed
- A Novel
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 25 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,217
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 856
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 858
When high-school teacher Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, while Caelum is away, Maureen finds herself in the library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed. Miraculously, she survives. But when Caelum and Maureen flee to an illusion of safety on the Quirk family's Connecticut farm, they discover that the effects of chaos are not easily put right.
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5 out of 5 stars
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excellent all around yarn
- By G. on 01-10-09
By: Wally Lamb
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Kissing Games of the World
- By: Sandi Kahn Shelton
- Narrated by: Myra Platt
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 144
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4 out of 5 stars 115
What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
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Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- ReadingRover
- 12-11-19
Solid holiday themed short story w/ a dark side
If anyone knows anything about me they know I love a good holiday themed story and what I love even more is a holiday themed story with a dark edge to it. This one fit the bill! It was just what I needed to start off the Christmas season. It starts with a kid who believes in Santa and things go downhill from there. So great! Also, how could I resist I story that references Wilfred Brimley and “the diabeetus”. If you don’t know what I’m talking about definitely look it up on YouTube and you’ll be laughing your ass off. The narrator for the audiobook was solid. He suited the story and did a good Santa voice. Overall I was really happy with this one. 4 stars!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Connie
- 12-07-19
Wild Story and the Narrator rocks
This was a very entertaining short story, but the Narrator/Producer took the book to an all new level.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- James Nance
- 12-05-19
5 star
Excellent listen with genuine LOL moments. Provides an entertaining twist to the Santa Myth. Highly recommend a listen!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Deedra
- 12-07-19
You better watch out!
Loved it!Very funny! Jim D. Johnston was a great narrator! I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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