Hunt, Gather, Parent

What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans

By: Michaeleen Doucleff

Narrated by: Michaeleen Doucleff

Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins

Publisher's summary

New York Times Best Seller

The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?

“Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids.” (Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review)

When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and the conclusions often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do - and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop - it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are world experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.

Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their techniques firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.

©2021 Michaeleen Doucleff. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Critic reviews

"NPR reporter Michaeleen Doucleff narrates this audiobook - part memoir and part guide on contemporary parenting. She is honest, clear, and thoughtful as she presents a wide range of research on parenting theories from many cultures. For those seeking new ways to connect with or better understand their children, this will be a welcome listen. Doucleff creates the feeling she is in your kitchen, swapping stories and wisdom of the ages. This title is easy on the ears, and the chapters go by swiftly. For an author turned narrator, she is very confident as she presents ideas from diverse sources. From the Inuit to city dwellers, Doucleff informs as she entertains, regaling us with advice of how to keep the peace." (AudioFile Magazine)

One-sided, but helpful

Overall, I think there are many useful information that can be put into practice, many of which I will be using with my own child. Where this book falls short is it's inability to remain objective. If anything, showcasing Rosie's progress is okay, but the author's commentary on Western parenting can be perceived as an attack. Even so, I got a lot of valuable practices that I've already tried implementing with my 8 month old. I'm excited to see how we will put more tips to use in the future.

Loved the content

I throughly enjoyed the content of this book and will definitely be purchasing a paper copy as an effort of referring back to the information when I become a parent. I agree wholeheartedly with the other reviewers though - the author is slightly obnoxious to listen to and it takes awhile to get used to her voice / tone. I recommend holding out though because this book is fantastic

I was skeptical but the stuff is helpful

I started this book hours before starting a bout of solo parenting for which I felt unprepared. I used it and found it super helpful. My main take away is to control less and trust more, both myself and my kids. Everyone seems happier and more relaxed. And it feels right to be questioning the assumptions of our crazy western white supremacist culture’s way of parenting. Other cultures have figured out so much, it’s important to learn from them! Thank you so much for this book

The book I never knew I needed.

thank you so much for writting this. it's full of things I needed to hear.

There is no need for a professional narrator.

I'm half way thru this book right now and it is eye opening. I read some reviews and was surprised people had a problem with the arthor/narrators voice. I think she sounds fun, and light hearted, like parenting should be. I bet all of those people are old and crotchety. I plan on finishing this book and listening to it again

Best parenting book

I have 7 year old twin boys. This the only parenting book I’ve ever read that has actually helpful. Practical advice, and even though my kids are older, the tips in this book have made our household calmer and my kids more engaged, helpful members of our household. Wish I could have read this book when I had infants and was searching for help. So many things could have been easier back then and would be easier today.

Thank you to the author and to these communities for sharing their wisdom.

Love this book, I need help with my older kids

I enjoyed the book and found it very informative. wish there's a little more information about older kids and teenagers. My kids have been dealt with in the wrong manner by my ex, and now that I left him I am trying to figure out how to clean up his mess. Anyway, I wish I could go back in time and use these approaches from this book, I had similar ideas when they were very little. Thank you for helping others.

Horrifying & Hope Inspiring

Important. Look in/beyond the mirror. Reflect, reflect, reflect for your sake and for others.

Fascinating... with a suggestion.

I really enjoyed the book and love learning from other cultures. Fascinating subject with great parenting ideas. I wish there was a pdf with the audio book that included the chapter summary bullet points for reference.

Changed my behavior

What a great tool to help change my behavior. Kids respond how we behave. I learned to be patient, wait and not get upset. Of course it takes practice, but I’ll get there. I’m noticing my toddler wanting to help and be helpful. He still doesn’t share. That’s our vice but all others I’ve been amazed!!!