Ep. 4: The Addict  By  cover art

Ep. 4: The Addict

By: Esther Perel
Narrated by: Esther Perel

Publisher's summary

[Contains mature themes] They’re grandparents, with a 40-year love story and a stable, happy marriage. But one of them had quite a few secrets. Esther gives them some tools to navigate and support each other's experiences.

Step into the office of renowned relationship therapist and TED Talk sensation Esther Perel, and listen in as she counsels couples in crisis due to infidelity, sexlessness, loss, and disconnection. The result? Astonishing insights on how they can make love work – and takeaways for you on ways to repair and restore your own relationships.

About Esther:

Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and provocative voices on personal and professional relationships. A celebrated psychotherapist who has helmed a private practice in New York City since 1983, she has over three decades of experience navigating the intricacies of love and desire.

©2017 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2017 Audible Originals, LLC

What listeners say about Ep. 4: The Addict

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Brutally Honest

Holy sh*t this one was hard to listen to. I am in awe of this couple. Their relationship has been so badly damaged, and yet they are able to keep sight of the parts of it which are worth holding on to, and to try to fight for those parts and rebuild. I think to myself that I would not have the fortitude to even attempt to work my way through something like this, and yet Esther Perel manages to guide these people toward a level of compassion that is deeper than most people's pride would allow.

As I listen to the session unfold my own instinctual anger, outrage, and sympathetic pain begin to give way to empathy and humanity, and I start to ask questions:
-What does it take to be the kind of person who is willing to even try to forgive a betrayal like this?
-How do you hold onto the conviction that the love in a relationship is real despite actions that seem to invalidate that love?
-If someone does not behave this way out of a desire to destroy, then what kind of trauma can cause them to act like that?
-How do you work up the nerve to start taking responsibility for hurting another human being so terribly?
-How do you lean on your best friend for help when they are the very person who is causing your pain?
-How do you stand up to criticism from your friends and family for attempting to salvage your relationship instead of walking away?

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15 people found this helpful

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Exelent!

Major point here Ester points out, and prime example of how a good therapist MUST suspend all opinion and judgement initially. While many of us would personally think "leave him", and "boy, bye!" That is the worst friends and family can do is judge her for her decision to stay. Too many people have TOO MUCH to say about problems in someone else's marriage. A woman should not be condemned for staying regardless of what you might have done, or even your personal opinion about it. Women have a choice and they made it. You don't have to agree or condone it. But, you have NO right to judge it either. If you really care, you will back off and let them work through it, not make them feel bad or even worse after such a huge betrayal. They've already been brought low, you bringing them lower certainly doesn't add anything positive to an already difficult situation. And, really, that goes for men and women. But, to judge a woman's ability to make decisions, do a job, be a good role model, whatever based on her decision to stay with a partner who has cheated is rediculous! And, judging them says more about the judges than the one betrayed.

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I'm addicted.....

....to this series. Esther Is brilliantly insightful. I thought the one-time sessions would leave me with a cliffhanger, but at the end, I always think "I got it!" Well done.

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I want more of this profound work!

These recordings are profound on so many levels. What a gift for anyone in relationship, especially long term, and anyone just wanting to look into those ways we all have room for improvement in loving others and ourselves. Thank you!

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Need a little backstory

Would have liked to know if he confessed or got caught I suspect He only admitted and is in counseling because he got caught . He is so selfish and self absorbed.

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Explains so much

Hard to hear, but made so many. family behaviors real and explicable for me. Important listen.

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Very emotional

Very thought provoking session. I thought the therapist did an amazing job working with this couple who had to deal with one of the toughest things: long term sex addiction/infidelity of one of the partners. I greatly enjoyed listening to it

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The deep reach to reconcile

This helped me to see the deep struggle of sex addiction and the incredible help of therapy for an individual and/or couple. His trauma and continous healing was so big in his mind, it was difficult to see the effect on his wife despite his great love for her.

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Excellent for an inside look

what is addiction? does the addicted ones behavior show a lack of love for the other? find out in this episode!

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Infidelity hurts

We really all respond differently to hurt and harm, but as a male I am flabbergasted how bad we are at acknowledging and understanding the harm we do. I could cry with the wife as the husband sounded like an oaf, but he also needs help.

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