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Out of the Fog
- Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
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Publisher's summary
The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.
The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated, they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazy-making, people-pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice - especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support-group members, or a therapist.
Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?", "No one is perfect", "You need to forgive them", "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know", and "Commitment is forever".
This audiobook dives into these and other commonly confused topics such as:
- "Who are you to judge" vs. being discerning
- "You need to forgive them" vs. keeping yourself safe
- A parent vs. a predator
- Commitment vs. codependency
- Self-love vs. selfishness
- A person acting the part vs. a person actually changing
- Gut instincts vs. hypervigilance
- A friend vs. someone being friendly
- Caring vs. caretaking
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Pathological mind games. Covert and overt put-downs. Triangulation. Gaslighting. Projection. These are the manipulative tactics survivors of malignant narcissists are unfortunately all too familiar with. As victims of silent crimes where the perpetrators are rarely held accountable, survivors of narcissistic abuse have lived in a war zone of epic proportions, enduring an abuse cycle of love-bombing and devaluation - psychological violence on steroids.
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A “Powerful” book
- By Avid reader on 10-16-17
By: Shahida Arabi
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone
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- By: Allen Berger PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
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Allen Berger, PhD, draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer 12 hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include: understanding who you are and what's important to you; learning not to take others' reactions personally; trusting your inner compass; and taking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situations.
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Rich exploration and application of ES principles
- By rdkemper on 08-12-23
By: Allen Berger PhD
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12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
- Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Action
- By: Allen Berger PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. Allen Berger explores the 12 most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery.
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Just the 12 steps
- By Jana E on 09-20-22
By: Allen Berger PhD
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When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- A Guide for Adult Children
- By: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Narrated by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
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Growing up with a mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficult - but it’s still possible to have a functioning adult relationship with her. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder provides you with crucial information for understanding the patterns behind her Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the tools you need to start your own recovery process.
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Deeply healing & life changing
- By Anonymous User on 11-19-22
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The No Contact Rule
- By: Natalie Lue
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
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You're trying to get over your ex, yet you're still in touch and have ended up being his or her backup plan. Maybe you haven't left yet, but you want to and just don't know how. Maybe you're tired of doing the lather, rinse, repeat of getting back together and winding up back at square one. It's time to cut contact. The No Contact Rule is an inspiring guide to extinguishing the temptation to stay in touch or to keep engaging, helping you to reclaim your sense of self and move on to a healthier relationship.
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I can not recomment this book highly enough!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-14-17
By: Natalie Lue
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Do you have a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath in your life, or think that you might? Do you continually feel anxious around someone in your life, but can’t pinpoint why?...Perhaps you know you are being manipulated or abused, but don’t know how to make it stop. The Narcissist’s Playbook can help. You can take back your life.
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Breaking up in normal circumstances is hard enough. If you throw a narcissist into the equation, it makes it all the more difficult. If you're looking to listen to this audiobook, you're likely heartbroken and looking for some guidance, support, or understanding. As someone who has been through the hell of a narcissistic relationship, I can offer you all three, and I hope this audiobook can help you make sense of this heartbreaking time.
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Horrible! Read if you want to become a narcissist!
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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
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This book CHANGED MY LIFE!
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Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual.
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Breaking up in normal circumstances is hard enough. If you throw a narcissist into the equation, it makes it all the more difficult. If you're looking to listen to this audiobook, you're likely heartbroken and looking for some guidance, support, or understanding. As someone who has been through the hell of a narcissistic relationship, I can offer you all three, and I hope this audiobook can help you make sense of this heartbreaking time.
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Horrible! Read if you want to become a narcissist!
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If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
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Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
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Whole Again
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Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of people in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. In this highly anticipated new audiobook, he guides listeners on what to do next - how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. MacKenzie shares insights and tools for working through the protective self we've developed so that we can finally move on to live a full and authentic life.
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Good content, but to much repeat
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By: Jackson MacKenzie, and others
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30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships
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Identifying covert emotional manipulation is tricky. You sense something is wrong, but you can't quite put your finger on the problem. This powerful book will reveal to you if manipulation is at play in your relationships. It will open your eyes. You will learn 30 tactics manipulators use to get what they want. You will also learn to spot the warning signs within yourself that expose covert manipulation is taking place, even if you can't identify the specific tactics being used.
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This book can change your life!
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Finally...
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The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves. Psychopath Free will help you out of the darkness so that you can begin making better choices that will forever alter the course of your life. So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
- By GoodMonster on 09-19-15
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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: The Complete Guide to Recover from Emotional Abuse, Identify Narcissists, and Overcome Abusive Relationships
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Narcissistic abuse is hard to make sense of. One day, things are going great, the next, you’re left emotionally torn to pieces. The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery guide will help you set healthy boundaries and make sense of the complex. It will give you actionable steps you can take toward achieving healthier relationships. When you have no idea how to properly handle narcissistic abuse, it will linger, escalate, and go on far longer than it should. It’s time to clear the muddy waters. This guide offers a deep dive into the forces that drive narcissistic abuse.
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lame. not much help. wasted credit
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
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Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
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Wake up call !
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Narcissistic Ex
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Narcissistic abuse is a form of abuse that ensures victims are left emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, and devoid of any self-worth or self-esteem...ending a relationship with a narcissist isn’t that easy. In this audiobook, I want to offer you some guidance on this rarely-talked about aspect of an abusive relationship: how to deal with a narcissist when they’re your ex.
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thank you so much!!
- By jeff gipson on 12-30-19
By: Lauren Kozlowski
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The Safest Place Possible: A Guide to Healing and Transformation
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The Safest Place Possible is a journey to self-love and healing. If you have lost yourself in an unhealthy or traumatic relationship and want to find your way back to who you really are, if you have had the rug pulled out from under you, if you are experiencing anxiety and fear, if you are unsure of your future, this is the book for you. This book is both a memoir as well as an incredibly helpful guide to healing through transforming the relationship you have with yourself.
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So grateful for this book!
- By Sunny on 08-03-19
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When Love Is a Lie
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When our partner is a narcissist, only those who've actually experienced the madness will ever understand what we're going through. When Love Is a Lie is a straight-up, tell-all book about narcissism in relationships that skips the clinical bullshit to focus solely on the personal experience. A narrative that holds nothing back, Zari Ballard's story will educate, enlighten, and empower you to evaluate (and fully understand) the mind-boggling dysfunction in your own relationship.
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Greatfull to have found this!
- By Joy on 03-13-17
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Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition)
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Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.
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Makes me dislike Narcissists even more!
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Highly Sensitive Empaths and Narcissistic Abuse
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Overall
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In some cases, it is not until a victim has suffered through narcissistic abuse that they start to research and investigate, which then leads to the eye-opening self-discovery of an empath. This may be the case for you. This audiobook bundle will provide you with the tools and knowledge to help understand your self as an empath, how to grow and develop, into a stronger version of yourself, and how to protect yourself from toxic people such as energy vampires and narcissists.
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Is the author a real person?
- By Ram Rathakrishnan on 08-20-19
By: J. Vandeweghe
What listeners say about Out of the Fog
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- M. M
- 12-31-20
2nd book of hers I’ve listened to!
I’ve seen a few reviews here stating they didn’t like the book so much because the author shares some of her experiences and struggles.
I’d much rather listen/learn from someone who’s not only intelligent and educated in the subject, but who has ‘been there, done that’. With a difficult, complex and painful subject like narc abuse, I prefer to learn from someone like this who shares REAL LIFE examples and has the educational background, than someone who just spouts off stats and psychological analysis.
Dana Morningstar has several books on this subject. Whatever one you start with, you’re going to get a lot of knowledge and insight that can be applied immediately.
Of course each person will approach and deal with this subject differently. But having an expert who has lived it and healed, that’s the person I want to learn from.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Blair Mead
- 12-30-22
Best read on Narcissistic Abuse to date
I’m a licensed clinician who has also had the misfortune of being in a long-term relationship with a Narcissist. I can tell you that Dana Morningstar’s insights, advice, profound understanding, and deep empathy for fellow survivors’ experience is hands down the best, and most healing, literature available on this topic to-date. She speaks with authority to the individual who has had to endure the soul crushing nature of these types of abusive relationships. I also highly recommend her companion book, A Narcissist’s Playbook. If you suspect you are in a narcissist relationship, reading Morningstar’s books will give you the clarity you need to fully grasp what is, and what isn’t, abusive.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ashley
- 04-22-21
Words aren’t enough.
I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t found this book. I felt crazy, and like I was screaming and no one could hear me.
You gave words to how I felt. Thank you so so much
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- Ashley
- 06-21-20
Thank you thank you thank you ( T_T)\(^-^ )
He loved me so little, I was forced to love myself , my life.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-20-19
Super Powerful.
Out of the Fog is my new favorite! There are so many new concepts. thanks Dana
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- ALYCE M. FISHER
- 04-10-21
Supportive.
I love her approach to healing. I like that she is so practical about the suggestions. I feel Dana support right through the words in this book If you are looking for support and encouragement, this book will give you that and great advise also. Thanks for writing this book Dana; it's going to help lots of people.
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- threewithglee
- 11-30-21
So helpful
I needed this book and having it read to me was amazing! Especially when I cried.
Self care so important and this book will help you get there. Thank you Dana ❤️🙏
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- Erik D
- 01-25-22
I Didn't want this book to end
Warm guidance A Roadmap for healing. Helped me realize and get honest about my situation
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-21-20
Required reading
I have read so many books on the topic of narcissism behaviors. This book was so helpful
To me because it spelled out clearly what is healthy and what is not. Clearly defining what love and friendship should look like was so eye opening. Read it!
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- Danielle Cullen
- 07-15-22
For those struggling
Hi, this book is simple, clear, in layman’s terms, and can really bring clarity and even validation and sanity to those experiencing narcissistic abuse. A great read to suggest to anyone experiencing one of these types of relationships!
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