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An Unattractive Vampire
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
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An Unattractive Vampire
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Publisher's summary
Jim McDoniel's debut novel, An Unattractive Vampire, is a darkly comic urban fantasy of ancient horrors in suburban cities.
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good. Determined to reestablish his bloodstained reign, Yulric sets out to correct this disgusting turn of events or, at the very least, murder the person responsible.
With the help of part-vampire wannabe Amanda; Simon, the eight-year-old reincarnation of his greatest foe; and a cadre of ancient and ugly horrors, Yulric prepares to battle the glamorous undead. But who will win the right to determine, once and for all, what it truly means to be a vampire?
Critic reviews
Featured Article: The Best Urban Fantasy Audiobooks
Urban fantasy is a melting pot that borrows all the best elements from our favorite genres to create truly unique worlds where anything is possible. With components of paranormal, noir, suspense, mystery, thriller, romance, and (of course) fantasy, these stories are vivid and colorful, bursting with magic while remaining rooted in city settings we know and love. These titles range from romances and historical dramas to gritty noir mysteries, but they all have one thing in common: the perfect blend of reality and realms beyond, offering a sweep-you-off-your-feet story that will make your own world melt away.
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48,229
A call from a distraught wife, and another from Lt. Murphy of the Chicago PD Special Investigation Unit makes Harry believe things are looking up, but they are about to get worse, much worse. Someone is harnessing immense supernatural forces to commit a series of grisly murders. Someone has violated the first law of magic: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Tracking that someone takes Harry into the dangerous underbelly of Chicago, from mobsters to vampires....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Story, Distracting Sound Engineering
- By Tom on 05-20-10
By: Jim Butcher
-
Black Wings
- Black Wings Series, Book 1
- By: Christina Henry
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 171
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 149
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 148
As an Agent of Death, Madeline Black is responsible for escorting the souls of the dearly departed to the afterlife. It's a 24/7 job with a lousy benefits package. Maddy's position may come with magical powers and an impressive wingspan, but it doesn't pay the bills. And then there are her infuriating boss, tenant woes, and a cranky, popcorn-loving gargoyle to contend with. Things start looking up, though, when tall, dark, and handsome Gabriel Angeloscuro agrees to rent the empty apartment in Maddy's building
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Fallen Angels, Demons, and Nephilim... good start
- By A. Lund on 08-03-11
By: Christina Henry
-
Haunted Nights
- A Horror Writers Association Anthology
- By: Ellen Datlow - editor, Garth Nix, Kelley Armstrong, and others
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Erin Spencer, James Patrick Cronin, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 237
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 210
Here are 16 chilling, never-before-published tales that explore every aspect of our darkest holiday, Halloween, coedited by Ellen Datlow, one of the most successful and respected genre editors, and Lisa Morton, a leading authority on Halloween. Included are stories about scheming jack-o'-lanterns, vengeful ghosts, otherworldly changelings, disturbingly realistic haunted attractions, masks that cover terrifying faces, murderous urban legends, parties gone bad, cult Halloween movies, and trick-or-treating in the future.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Slow burn stories
- By Alex Sumner on 03-05-22
By: Ellen Datlow - editor, and others
-
Insatiable
- By: Meg Cabot
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 16 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 263
-
Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 138
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 139
Sick of hearing about vampires? So is Meena Harper. But her bosses are making her write about them anyway, even though Meena doesn't believe in them. Not that Meena isn't familiar with the supernatural. See, Meena Harper knows how you're going to die. (Not that you're going to believe her. No one ever does.)
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2 out of 5 stars
-
This Book Made Me Actually Appreciate "Twilight"..
- By Molly on 04-08-12
By: Meg Cabot
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Halo
- Halo Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Alexandra Adornetto
- Narrated by: Alexandra Adornetto
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 197
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 133
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Story4 out of 5 stars 134
Three angels - Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human - are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments. Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Love Conquers All... Twilight for Christian teens
- By Wrightaway on 10-18-10
-
The Nate Temple Series: Books 0-3
- The Nate Temple Series Boxset Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 41 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 934
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 843
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 838
My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
Imperium
- Caulborn, Book 1
- By: Nicholas Olivo
- Narrated by: Ian McEuen
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 434
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 399
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 397
Vincent Corinthos has two things going for him: he's a top operative of a secret agency tasked with handling paranormal threats, and he's half-god. Normally that's a combo that leaves him well-equipped to handle any problems that come his way. Until now. Something is snatching Boston's most powerful paranormal entities right off the streets. Vampires, lycanthropes, fae, gremlins - no one is safe. No ransom notes, no bodies, no witnesses.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
I enjoyed this audio book immensely!
- By Midwestbonsai on 06-27-16
By: Nicholas Olivo
-
The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 115
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 107
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 107
Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
-
Darkfever
- Fever, Book 1
- By: Karen Marie Moning
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,623
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 4,300
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,300
MacKayla Lane's life is good. She has great friends, a decent job, and a car that breaks down only every other week or so. In other words, she's your perfectly ordinary 21st-century woman. Or so she thinks...until something extraordinary happens.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Stick with it!
- By Dana on 01-27-11
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A Kiss Before the Apocalypse
- A Remy Chandler Novel, Book 1
- By: Thomas E. Sniegoski
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 305
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 230
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 225
Boston P.I. Remy Chandler has many talents. He can will himself invisible; he can speak and understand any foreign language (including the language of animals); and if he listens carefully, he can hear thoughts. Unusual, to say the least—for an ordinary man. But Remy is no ordinary man—he’s an angel. Generations ago, when he was known as the angel Remiel, he chose to renounce heaven and live on Earth.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Great story worth the listen!
- By Christopher on 02-06-12
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Blood Price
- Blood, Book 1
- By: Tanya Huff
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 546
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 476
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 479
Vicki Nelson, formerly of Toronto’s homicide unit and now a private detective, witnesses the first of many vicious attacks that begin plaguing the city of Toronto. As death follows unspeakable death, Vicki, in an attempt to stop these forces of dark magic, is forced to renew her relationship with her former partner, Mike Celluci - along with another, unexpected ally…. Henry Fitzroy, the illegitimate son of King Henry VIII, has learned over the course of his life how to blend with humans; how to deny the call for blood in his veins.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Off to a Good Start
- By Jennifer on 03-28-12
By: Tanya Huff
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The Demonists
- Demonist Series, Book 1
- By: Thomas E. Sniegoski
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 49
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 44
It was supposed to be a simple exorcism, a publicity stunt to firmly establish John and Theodora's thriving paranormal investigation empire in the public eye. But something went wrong, leading to an on-air massacre that unleashed a malicious host of demons and left Theodora catatonic, possessed by countless spirits.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Meh
- By Brian Allen on 04-18-16
-
The Queen of the Tearling
- A Novel
- By: Erika Johansen
- Narrated by: Katherine Kellgren
- Length: 14 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,104
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,850
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,842
Magic, adventure, mystery, and romance combine in this epic debut in which a young princess must reclaim her dead mother’s throne, learn to be a ruler - and defeat the Red Queen, a powerful and malevolent sorceress determined to destroy her. On her 19th birthday, Princess Kelsea Raleigh Glynn, raised in exile, sets out on a perilous journey back to the castle of her birth to ascend her rightful throne. Plain and serious, a girl who loves books and learning, Kelsea bears little resemblance to her mother, the vain and frivolous Queen Elyssa.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Volume changed a lot
- By Nik on 12-20-14
By: Erika Johansen
-
The City of Lost Fortunes
- By: Bryan Camp
- Narrated by: Korey Jackson
- Length: 14 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 68
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 58
The post-Katrina New Orleans of The City of Lost Fortunes is a place haunted by its history and by the hurricane's destruction, a place that is hoping to survive the rebuilding of its present long enough to ensure that it has a future. Street magician Jude Dubuisson is likewise burdened by his past and by the consequences of the storm, because he has a secret: the magical ability to find lost things, a gift passed down to him by the father he has never known - a father who just happens to be more than human.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Enchanting Creative Story
- By William on 09-02-18
By: Bryan Camp
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Grim Death and Bill the Electrocuted Criminal
- By: Mike Mignola, Thomas E. Sneigoski
- Narrated by: Paul Costanzo
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 30
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
From New York Times best-selling authors and illustrators Mike Mignola and Tom Sniegoski come two thrilling antiheroes: Grim Death and Bill the Electrocuted Criminal, battling against crime. An uneasiness festers upon the city streets, threatening the peace and safety of law-abiding citizens. A war is escalating, and it seems as though the good and righteous are being crushed beneath the unholy weight of evil's onslaught.
By: Mike Mignola, and others
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314
- By: A. R. Wise
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 168
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 148
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 151
Alma Harper has been trying to forget what happened in Widowsfield 16 years ago. She has a good life as a music teacher now, and might rekindle her relationship with her one true love. However, the number 314 haunts her, and threatens to bring her back to the day that her brother disappeared. When a reporter shows up, just days before March 14th, Alma realizes that her past is coming back to haunt her. What happened on March 14th, at 3:14, 16 years ago? No one but The Skeleton Man can remember.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not what you think
- By Brandy Hall on 05-07-15
By: A. R. Wise
-
Immortals: The Calling
- Immortals Series, Book 1
- By: Jennifer Ashley
- Narrated by: Rebecca Cook
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 260
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 207
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 206
He bursts into the battle, his leather jacket billowing and his huge silver sword flashing. Amber has no idea why this windswept warrior would rescue her, but there he is... fighting the same demon who’d killed her sister. Though he is a stranger, she immediately senses he’s come to protect her. And with the first touch of his lips on hers, she knows he is bound to her, his body meant for her. Yet the shadow of evil is spreading quickly....
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1 out of 5 stars
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No brain required.
- By Womanhead on 06-15-14
By: Jennifer Ashley
-
Caged
- Caged, Book 1
- By: Amber Lynn Natusch
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 267
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 242
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 242
After the death of her parents, Ruby awakens from a lifetime of shadows and finds herself alone, thrust into a world of lies, deceit, betrayal and the supernatural. As her quest for truth continues to come up short, she realizes that maybe some questions really are best left unanswered. When her true identity is finally unveiled, she is forced to choose between two of the mysterious men who continually seem to crop up in her life.She chooses poorly. Now abandoned, Ruby must learn to call on the darkness within to survive, or spend a hellish eternity imprisoned because of it.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Amazing!!!
- By JettFountain on 07-18-14
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Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What listeners say about An Unattractive Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Franco Cavazos
- 08-27-16
good listen
The story and the narration were very well done.
It reminded me of Neil gaimans book Good Omens.
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20 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Alison
- 05-12-17
Better read than listened to.
Would you try another book from Jim McDoniel and/or Drew Campbell?
Author yes, narrator - no.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Simon. I think the character was underdeveloped though, and in general the backstories of the main characters were revealed a bit late in the book to put their actions in context.
Would you be willing to try another one of Drew Campbell’s performances?
Not inclined to. His timing was very odd, inserting pauses where they made no sense and throwing the cadence of the text off.
Could you see An Unattractive Vampire being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?
Yes - and no idea!
Any additional comments?
I liked the story a lot, but it felt a bit rushed in places and the pacing was a bit uneven.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- My 50 cents
- 09-16-16
Refreshing!!!
An old fashioned vampire in an age of modern vampires. i like it a lot. I hope that this is just the beginning of a new series. It reminds me of the old Hammer vampire movies which I grew up with. Please give us more. Something more to sink our teeth into.
As far as the audiobook. it is a very easy listen. The narrator is able to give each character his or her own unique voice. One of the best narrations I have ever listened to.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lisa H
- 10-18-17
LOL
There's the line where the vampire notes that the child keeps slipping air fresheners, car air fresheners in his pockets funny.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Camille
- 08-22-17
New Vampire genre!!
I really liked this book, It was so funny! I hope there will be more to come.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- brenda green
- 05-18-18
Hysterical
Such a hysterical take on how vampire stories have changed over the years. Clever story, well read.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nikinak
- 11-11-17
A Fun Read
I truly enjoyed every second of this book. I was constantly giggling. Drew Campbell does so well giving the characters great personalities. I found Jim McDoniel's writing to be witty and best of all I wasn't right once when I assumed what might happen next. I really hope more of his work will be available soon.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Sandra
- 04-24-17
I tried
I really tried to enjoy this book. I'm a truck driver, so anything to pass the time. However this just wasn't it. I did listen to the end, since I've misjudged books for the beginning half of it before, but it was just as bad.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Rajpaul S Grewal
- 11-03-17
Enjoyable
Good concept, good characters, plot could be better. I enjoyed it despite the flaws and would recommend it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- MARC H. TNJR
- 02-25-17
fun
fun book, great twist to horrible new genre that gets hammered in this story. liked the performance and characters and the fun ending...
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