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Biff
- Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
- Narrated by: Scott Pollak
- Length: 3 hrs and 55 mins
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Publisher's summary
We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication. We also live in a culture of blame and disrespect....
Has anyone ever told you:
- “It’s all your fault!”
- “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
- “You’re a disgrace to your
[family][community][country][team][profession][party][you fill in the blank] - “What’s the matter with you? Are you crazy? Stupid? Immoral? Unethical? Evil?”
And then were you told everything that’s “wrong” with you and how you should behave?
It’s not about you!
Let’s face it. Most of us have said something like this when we “lost it”—hopefully not too often. But some people communicate this way a lot! It’s helpful to know that their personal attacks are not about you. They are about the blamer’s inability to control himself and solve problems.
When people repeatedly use personal attacks, I think of them as “high-conflict people” (HCPs), because they lack skills for dealing well with conflict. Instead of sharing responsibility for solving problems, they repeatedly lose it and increase conflict by making it intensely personal and taking no responsibility. They are the most difficult people, because they are preoccupied with blaming others—what I call their “targets of blame”—which may include you! They speak Blamespeak: attack, defend—and attack again.
I wrote this book to help you respond to anyone who tries to engage you with hostile emails, texts, Facebook postings, vicious rumors, or just plain difficult behavior. But before I explain how to write a BIFF response, I want to give you a brief understanding of how HCPs think.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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Push Back: Assert Yourself in Relationships
- By: Monica Johnson, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Monica Johnson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
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Holding boundaries and asserting yourself are crucial skills for maintaining healthy relationships and a sense of self-respect. In Push Back: Assert Yourself in Relationships, professional clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Johnson teaches you how to clearly define your limits, communicate those limits to others, and foster mutual respect and understanding in your everyday interactions.
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clear and easy to understand.
- By Jane Schuh on 05-19-24
By: Monica Johnson, and others
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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How to Release Anxiety
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s not just you. Stress levels are at an all-time high—so much so that a recently convened panel of medical experts in the US has recommended that all adults under the age of 65 be screened for anxiety. In How to Release Anxiety, Gabby Bernstein offers simple, actionable steps for feeling better, living with more ease, and showing up for those around us. Gabby’s unusual advice: Rather than manage your anxiety, what if you befriended it? Gabby posits that what we befriend, we can ultimately be at ease with. So she invites us to get curious.
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Not my thing, but one good point
- By Scott on 10-22-22
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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How to Be a 3% Man
- By: Corey Wayne
- Narrated by: Corey Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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My book covers both the dating world and long-term relationships. You will learn how to meet and date the type of women you've always dreamed of. The best part is you can do this while remaining who you truly are inside. The book teaches you how to create sexual attraction in women and get women to chase and pursue you! It takes you step by step with easy-to-follow instructions. You will be able to meet women anytime, anyplace, and anywhere. This will give you choice with women.
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3% MAN
- By Anonymous User on 07-07-17
By: Corey Wayne
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A Quiet Life in 7 Steps
- By: Susan Cain
- Narrated by: Susan Cain
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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In a world of distraction, overcommitment, and often overwhelming social expectations, are you craving depth, meaning, and true connection? Join Susan Cain, an international best-selling author on the power of introverts who will help you tune out all of your everyday stresses and conflicts and tune into living a Quiet Life. In seven steps, Susan will show you exactly how to lead your own Quiet Life. She’ll help you connect with the part of yourself that’s drawn to the quiet, the deep, the beautiful, and the kind.
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A great reminder to once again listen to our inner voice…
- By Amazon Customer on 01-14-24
By: Susan Cain
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The Gift of Fear
- Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
- By: Gavin de Becker
- Narrated by: Gavin de Becker
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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These days, no one in America feels immune to violence. But now, in this extraordinary, groundbreaking book, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior unlocks the puzzle of human violence and shows that, like every creature on earth, we have within us the ability to predict the harm others might do us and get out of its way. Contrary to popular myth, human violence almost always has a discernible motive and is preceded by clear warning signs.
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Decent book severely undermined by last chapter.
- By zachary on 11-01-22
By: Gavin de Becker
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Not Nice
- Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself
- By: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Narrated by: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Length: 18 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you too nice? If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.
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Changed my life forever
- By Shannon Slater on 12-07-18
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Models
- Attract Women Through Honesty
- By: Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
- By Mark Speener on 06-24-14
By: Mark Manson
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Wish I had this information sooner!
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This book should be required reading.
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Splitting, Second Edition
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Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers.
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Must read!
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Mediating High Conflict Disputes
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Over the past 12 years, the authors have been developing and practicing tips for managing high-conflict clients in mediation, which is now a fully developed new method called "New Ways for Mediation". Mediating High Conflict Disputes gives all of the little tips that any mediator can use, as well as the step-by-step structure of the New Ways for Mediation method for those who want to have better control of the process in high-conflict cases - or any cases.
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Wish this type of meditation was more available
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Don't Alienate the Kids (10th Anniversary Edition)
- Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce
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In this 10th-anniversary edition of Don't Alienate the Kids attorney, mediator, and therapist Bill Eddy shows listeners how to protect children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict divorce, boosting their resilience by teaching them to think flexibly, manage their emotions, and moderate their behaviors.
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Useful information for a high conflict divorce
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Dating Radar
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Bad Narrator
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BIFF for CoParent Communication
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Wish I had this information sooner!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-24
By: Annette Burns, and others
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5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
- Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
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This book should be required reading.
- By JGM on 05-07-18
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Splitting, Second Edition
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Must read!
- By tara on 01-11-22
By: Bill Eddy LCSW JD, and others
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Mediating High Conflict Disputes
- A Breakthrough Approach with Tips and Tools and the New Ways for Mediation Method
- By: Bill Eddy LCSW Esq., Michael Lomax
- Narrated by: Michael Butler Murray
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Over the past 12 years, the authors have been developing and practicing tips for managing high-conflict clients in mediation, which is now a fully developed new method called "New Ways for Mediation". Mediating High Conflict Disputes gives all of the little tips that any mediator can use, as well as the step-by-step structure of the New Ways for Mediation method for those who want to have better control of the process in high-conflict cases - or any cases.
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Wish this type of meditation was more available
- By C. Wilson on 01-23-22
By: Bill Eddy LCSW Esq., and others
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- Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce
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In this 10th-anniversary edition of Don't Alienate the Kids attorney, mediator, and therapist Bill Eddy shows listeners how to protect children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict divorce, boosting their resilience by teaching them to think flexibly, manage their emotions, and moderate their behaviors.
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Useful information for a high conflict divorce
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Bad Narrator
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Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist
- How to End the Drama and Get On with Life
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People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders are master manipulators; Caretakers fall for them every time. This book helps Caretakers break the cycle and puts them on a new path of personal freedom, discovery, and self-awareness, through the use of real stories and practical suggestions from a seasoned therapist.
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life changing
- By Anonymous User on 01-08-23
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High Conflict
- Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out
- By: Amanda Ripley
- Narrated by: Amanda Ripley
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High conflict is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority, and everything we do to try to end the conflict, usually makes it worse. Eventually, we can start to mimic the behavior of our adversaries, harming what we hold most dear. In this book, New York Times bestselling author and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigates how good people get captured by high conflict—and how they break free.
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Perspective and Tools for Conflict-Drenched Times
- By Mark Patterson on 05-19-21
By: Amanda Ripley
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Breaking Free from a Narcissistic Co-Parent
- By: Michael Marino
- Narrated by: Andy Mahaney
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Breaking Free from a Narcissistic Co-Parent is a practical guide for parents co-parenting with a narcissistic ex-partner. Drawing on innovative research and clinical experience, the book explores narcissistic personality disorder and its impact on co-parenting. It offers practical strategies to help parents manage difficult situations and minimize conflict.
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Insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 03-06-24
By: Michael Marino
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Divorcing a Narcissist
- One Mom's Battle
- By: Tina Swithin
- Narrated by: Jacki Giardina
- Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Tina Swithin discovered that there is only one thing more difficult than being married to a narcissist, and that is divorcing a narcissist or someone with a high-conflict personality. In her book, Tina will explain how a smart, independent woman can fall prey to a narcissistic man. Tina discusses the red flag reflections that initially, she didn’t recognize as concerning while dating and during the marriage. When Tina’s plight to protect her children began, she was forced to act as her own attorney due to severe financial abuse.
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Amazing strength, some editing issues
- By Essential oil Mom of 4 on 06-26-22
By: Tina Swithin
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Dangerous Personalities
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- By: Joe Navarro, Toni Sciarra Poynter
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In Dangerous Personalities, former FBI profiler Joe Navarro shows listeners how to identify the four most common "dangerous personalities", and analyze how much of a threat each one can be: the Narcissist, the Predator, the Paranoid, and the Unstable Personality. Along the way, listeners learn how to protect themselves both immediately and long-term - as well as how to recover from the trauma of being close to such a destructive force.
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A Bad Conscience
- By Mel on 10-29-14
By: Joe Navarro, and others
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Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex
- What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You
- By: Amy E. Baker PhD, Paul R. Fine
- Narrated by: Vanessa Daniels
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
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In Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse. You'll learn to avoid the most common mistakes of co-parenting, how to avoid "parental alienation syndrome", and effective techniques for talking to your children in a way that fosters an open and honest response. In addition, you'll learn how to protect your children from painful loyalty conflicts between you and your ex-spouse.
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Not Helpful For Me
- By Catherine Conklin on 11-05-17
By: Amy E. Baker PhD, and others
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The Parallel Parenting Solution
- Eliminate Confict with Your Ex, Create the Life You Want
- By: Carl Knickerbocker JD
- Narrated by: Joe Scalora
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The Parallel Parenting Solution comes straight out of lived experience, extensive research and coaching, and is written as a direct solutions manual for those of us who have to deal with narcissistic and high-conflict exes. The book is intentionally direct and solutions-driven because those of us who have lived with such exes know that we’ve already wasted enough time and life and energy on them. It’s time for solutions. It’s time for immediate change.
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brief and full of great advice
- By Anonymous User on 05-04-24
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30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships
- By: Adelyn Birch
- Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
- Length: 1 hr and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Identifying covert emotional manipulation is tricky. You sense something is wrong, but you can't quite put your finger on the problem. This powerful book will reveal to you if manipulation is at play in your relationships. It will open your eyes. You will learn 30 tactics manipulators use to get what they want. You will also learn to spot the warning signs within yourself that expose covert manipulation is taking place, even if you can't identify the specific tactics being used.
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This book can change your life!
- By Cat O. on 04-04-18
By: Adelyn Birch
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Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door
- How to Protect Yourself Against a Ruthless Manipulator
- By: Martha Stout
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
While the best way to deal with a sociopath is to avoid him or her entirely, sometimes circumstance doesn't allow for that. What happens when the time comes to defend yourself against your own child, a ruthless ex-spouse, a boss, or another person in power? Using the many emails and letters she has received over the years, Dr. Martha Stout uncovers the psychology behind the sociopath’s methods and provides concrete guidelines to help navigate these dangerous interactions.
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Misleading Title, disappointing content
- By Brandon nieves on 11-03-20
By: Martha Stout
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Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths and How We Can Stop
- By: Bill Eddy
- Narrated by: Tom Dheere
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Democracy is under siege. The reason isn’t politics but personalities: Too many countries have come under the sway of high-conflict people (HCPs) who have become politicians. Most of these high-conflict politicians have traits of narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial (i.e., sociopathic) personality disorder, or both. This is the first and only guide for identifying and thwarting them.
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All Republicans are High Conflict Personalities
- By Brian K. Cutshall on 03-04-20
By: Bill Eddy
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Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition)
- Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed
- By: Wendy T. Behary LCSW, Jeffrey Young PhD - foreword, Daniel J. Siegel MD - preface
- Narrated by: Joana Garcia
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.
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Makes me dislike Narcissists even more!
- By Kirsty Gastrow on 06-23-22
By: Wendy T. Behary LCSW, and others
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare
- How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
- By: Shahida Arabi
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 19 hrs and 53 mins
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Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual.
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Finally
- By zero on 12-08-16
By: Shahida Arabi